The votes are still being tallied, but it looks as if Biden has an unshakable lead, and the Republicans have lost ground in the Senate. Which brings us to an important question: What happens now? Assuming that the count does turn out in Biden’s favor, what do we do with all of these people who voted for Trump, an undeniably racist, sexist, corrupt politician who put into place policies that separated families, undermined civil rights by decades, and killed hundreds of thousands of people? How do we treat these individuals now that they no longer have the power?

Again, this isn’t a political blog, but it does touch on a lot of social issues, which is why I am writing about this particular point. My particular social bubble is made up of mostly hard line Leftists who would be all for seizing the means of production if given half the chance, so considerably more extreme than the average liberal. I never really agreed with rolling out the guillotine and arming the proletariat the way Marx did, but I am still probably further to the left than say, AOC. So as you might expect, the last few days my social media has been filled with a lot of “no forgiveness” talk. Which is why I’m writing this blog entry.

Before I address the main issue, let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about “zero tolerance”. This was a big buzzword in the 80s and 90s when it came to things like drug use, bullying, and sexual harassment. Zero tolerance is a method of enforcing rules where there can be no deviations and no exceptions to those rules. For example, if a school enforces a zero tolerance policy on bringing a knife to school and a student has a plastic butter knife that is included with a packaged meal, under the zero tolerance policy that student MUST be punished. A knife is a knife is a knife. 

Many zero tolerance policies were put in place during the 90s. Almost all of them were problematic, and very few of them were actually effective. There are quite a few studies that focused on this. The American Psychological Association even created a task force to study the effects of zero-tolerance policies in schools. It found that far from reducing violence and promoting learning, they actually INCREASED bad behavior and drop-out rates. 

Why is this? Why do zero tolerance policies not work? For the moment, let’s put aside the way that zero tolerance policies can be weaponized by bad actors, the way they remove administrative freedom, the way they create hesitation in reporting problems due to fear of punishment and a host of other problems to focus on the one that matters for today’s example. Zero tolerance prevents people from learning and improving. If someone is punished NO MATTER WHAT, then there is no incentive to change. There is no incentive to be better. Zero tolerance means zero forgiveness, and forgiveness is, in many cases, the key to growth.

To be human is to make mistakes. We all do it. Every major religion acknowledges the fact that we do it. From the Bible, John 8-7 “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” From the Quran, 13:6 “And indeed, your Lord is full of forgiveness for the people despite their wrongdoing..” From the Buddha “There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting”. All of these quotes acknowledge that we as humans are imperfect. But, and here’s the glorious thing about humans. We can learn. We can be better.

Yeah. Let’s acknowledge it. Some awful fucking things have been done these last four years. Yeah, a lot of people have been hurt and died during it. Yeah, a lot of people are angry, and have a RIGHT to be angry. And I’m not taking that anger away from anyone. I’m not about to tell someone who had a child taken away or a family member die from COVID that they have to forgive someone. They don’t. They have every right to be angry Fuck, I would be too. But as a society, we are wounded, and we need to heal.

I am a person of privilege. One of those privileges is that I am in a place where I can be forgiving. I can reach out to some of these people who have done awful things. I can be someone who can start to build bridges. I know that not everyone can. I’m not sure everyone should. But I can. And so I will. 

But here’s the thing. Second chances have to be earned. That old saw about actions speaking louder than words is true, and people did a lot of yelling over the last four years. Yes, we want to heal our society, but we can only have a functional society if everyone tolerates everyone else. And that means that people who don’t tolerate others can’t be allowed in. (I’m not going to go into the Paradox of Tolerance right now, but here’s a good Youtube video about it. The short version: If you can’t play nice with everyone, you’re not allowed to play with anyone).

Anyone who voted for Trump or supported his policies who wants into this brave new world isn’t just going to get invited for free. Not if I have my way. Yes, forgiveness and a welcome back is on the table, but only if that person can demonstrate that they deserve it. That demonstration requires extended action over time showing that they have left their previous behavior behind. They have to show not only that they can play nice, but that they have learned why their previous behavior was wrong. Because learning is how we grow.

I’m all about second chances. I’m all about forgiveness, and I’m more than willing to extend the hand of friendship to even the most rabid of Trump supporters. However, they have to show that they have grown past the greed and intolerance that created the nightmare that we have all lived in for the last four years before that happens. And they are only welcome as long as they maintain that growth. Nobody gets in for free. 

I hope that we can heal this wound quickly. I am hopeful that I will be welcoming many former supporters back into the fold. If anyone from the other side wants to talk to me about starting that growth, I am more than willing to do so. Just contact me.